Qingming Festival.
Yesterday afternoon, my father went to see that woman again. I immediately called my eldest lady to tell her, and we got emotional again while talking on the phone.
After hanging up the phone, I started to feel depressed and had another attack. I am not in the mood to do anything, and I have trouble concentrating.
I didn’t even bother to pack my luggage for going out. In the evening, I hurriedly packed some clothes, some food and some newly bought carnations. I received the carnations that day. They were pink. One of the ten branches was broken. They had only been awake for a few hours, and the buds were still tightly closed.
I started checking the highway congestion status on the navigation system at 7 o'clock this morning. It was okay and not too congested. After I finished washing and finally packed up the flowers and put them in the car, I checked the navigation again and found that it was already very congested.
Sitting in the car, I began to hesitate, wanting to wait and see. It would be later, but the congestion became more and more serious. Forget it, I set off early tomorrow morning. Being stuck in traffic for 5 hours is not the same as driving for 5 hours. If I didn’t take my things out of the car, I would wake up the next day, wash my face and drive away.
Tonight I will look at my mother’s old things and letters again, and find a proper way to store these items in the future.
This time I went to Zhoushan to visit Longtan Village, a modern utopia in Fujian. I wanted to go there and see the world created by that madman, but I thought it was far and not worth it. I could go there if I passed by it in the future, so I didn’t go out of my way.
If you look at the results in life, it is indeed meaningless. Everything will eventually return to dust and dust.
The only pitiful meaning is the various tastes and experiences felt in this process, good and bad, including suffering and pain, all kinds of internal friction and physical and mental damage, and aging and degeneration. Just like a candle burning out, the burning process is the meaning of the candle's existence.