The day before yesterday, I took my father to have his brain tested and found a cerebral infarction.
The reason is that the day before yesterday, I was in Zhujiajian, Zhoushan. I had just stayed at a B&B when I received a call from my aunt, saying that she had received a call from the police. She said that my father was staggering while walking on the road and a passerby called the police. The police came and also called an ambulance.
On the phone, my father could no longer speak normally and his speech was unclear.
I called and the police asked me if I needed to be sent directly to the hospital for hospitalization. It was difficult for me to decide at the moment. I was worried that going to the hospital would be overly medical and would not be good for my health. The hospital environment was also complicated, which would be uncomfortable for my body and mind.
Finally, I discussed it with my brother and asked my father to stay at the police station while I drove back to pick him up. This would ensure that there would always be someone watching over him.
So I checked out, got in the car, and headed for the expressway. I checked out of the B&B right after I checked in, which was a bit of a loss. Fortunately, I took a shower as soon as I entered the room, so the rent was not completely wasted. I felt refreshed and ready to go.
As soon as I got on the road, I remembered that the biggest problem for me when driving at night was the high beam. I had hurt my eyes from the high beam when driving at night for a long time. After understanding this, I decided not to drive at night. I haven’t driven at night for a long time, and I forgot about this problem.
After traveling for an hour, my brother called and said that his father had gone home. He asked the police to take him home because he was afraid that he would be uncomfortable and tired sitting at the police station, which was right.
Decisions in the rush are always changing. I got home around 10:40 in the evening. My father was already asleep. The kitchen faucet was on and a bowl was running in the faucet. This often happened, and the amount of water used to wash a bowl was more than that of a bath. The rice was still being kept warm in the rice cooker, and I made a meal when I came back. It seemed like the situation was okay.
So I tidied up and went to bed.
The next day, I found that my father still couldn't speak clearly, and his speech was still unclear. My mind was a little confused, and I thought I would go to the hospital tomorrow. I was not familiar with the hospital's medical treatment process, and rarely went there. I first checked online to find out what the possible reasons were for my inability to speak. I first got an idea. The auntie called me in the afternoon and said that my father had called her, but she couldn’t explain clearly. She thought she should take him to the hospital immediately. I agreed, then changed clothes, looked for his medical insurance card and ID card, and took him out. Listen to the auntie. She has rich experience in these things, and she has rich experience in hospitals.
I went to the emergency department as she said, but when I went to the doctor, I found out that it was an internist. He said that there is no neurology department in the emergency department, only internal medicine, and neurology department is only available in the general outpatient department. I went to the general outpatient department again and saw that there were some people in line. It was indeed more than in the emergency department, but it was acceptable.
Later, I decided to forget it and just do brain CT in the Department of Internal Medicine.
The final result was cerebral infarction and hospitalization.
I had an attack of depression and anxiety yesterday.
I just calmed down my depression tonight and got a little better. I made a cup of coffee and ate the last remaining Qingtuan ball I bought before Qingming Festival. When I saw the lady in the group @ me, I intuitively told me not to watch it for now, as it would affect my mood that had just improved a little bit. If I wanted to watch it, wait until the coffee was finished before watching. Don’t be sorry for the coffee, but I still clicked in and watched it. Sure enough, it got popular. The lady in the group transferred me 10,000 yuan to use for my father’s expenses while he was hospitalized. I am more cautious about my aunt's kindness, because my family has a complicated relationship with her. Even if things are over, her position on the relationship between me and my dad is from a human perspective, not an objective perspective. It can be said that it is okay, but it is okay if I am not happy about it.
There was no problem in transferring money, but I sent some chat records between my father and her many years ago in the group. I understood the purpose of these records. I wanted to say good things to my father, but my instinctive emotional reaction was to be unhappy. I felt like a fly was stuck in my heart. After I finished speaking, I felt a slight pain and bloating in my stomach. I will never get angry when eating next time, and try to avoid any unpleasant things that may happen when eating. Remember this.
Saying nice things to my father is unfair to my mother. In my memory, my mother never lived a happy life after marrying my father. Even if she did, it had nothing to do with my father. My mother's married life was very unfair and she never had a happy life. It was a lifelong regret for my brother and I. Neither of us could provide any help when she needed to alleviate her unhappiness the most. No one in the family could listen to her grievances and anger, until she finally became seriously ill. What was posted in the group of ladies was essentially an injustice to my mother. This was the underlying reason why I got angry. When I got angry, it was instinctive. I didn’t think much about it. The instinctive reaction was that I was unhappy. Only when I calm down after getting angry can I express the reason for the anger in words.
Of course, I can't accept money. If I want to accept it, I have to explain it clearly. The money cannot be mixed with the intention of changing my view of my father. Otherwise, there is not much difference between this and the 200-yuan red envelope she gave to the nurse except for the numbers. I am still in the period of depression these two days and cannot think clearly about logical problems. It is best not to say anything or say anything, and wait until my brain can think normally to deal with things and speak. If it's very late, go to bed first, and then record when tomorrow is empty. There are still many things lined up to be dealt with. If you are late, you will delay important things and make you anxious.
Every depression will be complicated by anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder, and every attack will have all three symptoms.